so here's one i got from a friend thru email
An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...
> Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
> Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
> Older Woman: Oh, I see.
> Officer: Can I see your license please?
> Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
> Officer: Don't have one?
> Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
> Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
> Older Woman: I can't do that.
> Officer: Why not?
> Older Woman: I stole this car.
> Officer: Stole it?
> Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
> Officer: You what?
> Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you
> want to see
> The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and
> calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A
> senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn
> gun. Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The
> woman steps out of her vehicle.
> Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
> Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car
> and murdered the owner.
> Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
> Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
> The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
> Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?
> Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is
> quite stunned.
> Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving
> license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch
purse
> and hands it to the officer.
> The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
> Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't
have
> a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked
> up the owner.
> Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too.
> Don't Mess With Old Ladies
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